This Could Be Long...

I've been thinking about doing this for awhile, but I've been afraid of sharing/exposing a little too much about myself.

But the title of my blog is NOT an exaggeration.  

Am I right, Jeff?

(Poor guy has to live with me.)

And I think my blog title deserves at least one post.

While listing ALL my fears would take the entire rest of September, I've decided to just list my top 70 or 80.

Just kidding!

How about the top 10?  (Maybe more--I may not be able to stop once I start.)

1.  Drowning

I have a recurring nightmare where I accidentally drive my car into a lake/river with all 4 kids and I'm paralyzed by the decision of which kid I should save first.  

I don't love taking my kids swimming.

I'm a nervous wreck when we go to the beach.

2. Flying

We drive whenever possible.

I have to take really, REALLY strong anti-anxiety meds when I do fly.

3. Cancer (or any other terminal illness)

Did you know that EVERYTHING causes cancer?

EVERYTHING!!!!

Canned tomatoes, microwave popcorn, cell phones, plastic (especially when microwaved), non-organic food, organic food, soda, aspartame, white bread, food, water, air, candy (NOOOOOOO!!!)

You get the idea.

And I'm terrified of one of my kids getting a long-term illness

4.  Throwing up

Weird, I know.

Trust me.  NO ONE hates to throw up more than me.

I have a very long list of things I will and won't eat for fear of getting food poisoning.

I live in daily terror of contracting gastroenteritis (stomach flu).

If I get even the slightest bit nauseous, I start in on a real panic attack.

I probably wake up once or twice a week in the middle of the night in a sweat that I'm about to throw up.

Yeah, this fear is bad.

*Short story:  I contracted Pertussis last summer.  Worst cough I've ever had and it lasted 4 full months!  In the middle of that, I got the stomach flu.  Both ends.  Simultaneously.  I passed out in the bathroom.  I lost 7 pounds in 10 hours.

I would RATHER go through the 4 months of incessant coughing again, than do the 10 hours of barfing.

True.

5.  Fire

We have a fire drill  and/or review in our house about once a month

6.  My kids choking

I make all of them practice doing the Heimlich Maneuver.

They DO know the universal sign for choking

7.  Dying

Me or a loved one

In any of the aforementioned ways.

Mortality is fatal.

We are all going to die.

Don't get me started on this line of thinking or my day will be ruined.

8. Public Humiliation

I'm mostly afraid of having an anxiety attack/fainting/vomiting in public. 

I make sure to sit where I can exit quickly.

This is why I hate planes.  THERE IS NO ESCAPE!!!!!

9.  Panic attacks

If you've never had one don't judge.

If you have, I feel your pain.

They are right up there with throwing up/dying/drowning/choking.

I feel like I really am dying but at the same time, I want to die to end to agony.

They are nightmarish. 

10.  Something happening to Jeff

I definitely could not cope by myself.

Hell, I can't do half the things on the computer without his help.

If he died, I would die shortly thereafter from pure incompetence.

Not to mention, there is not another soul in the world that understands me better than he does.

AND, I think he still likes me.

I think.

11. Car accidents

12.  Germs

13.  My kids getting hit by a car

14.  My kids getting kidnapped

15.  Confrontation

16.  Depression

17.  Enclosed spaces

18.  Terrorist attacks

19.  Crowds

20.  Sharing too much information  :)

Whoops.  Just did.

Oh well.

Who knows?  Maybe these are all typical fears and I'm just pretty normal.

Probably not...