Favorite Quotes

I have kept a journal since Josh was about 2 years old of all the funny things my kids have said.  I've decided to post a few of my favorites.

Josh:

We were getting fast food through the drive-thru and there was a truck ahead of us:

Josh (age 3): "What's that truck doin' up there?"

Jeff: It's getting some food.

Josh:  It's not getting food.  It doesn't have it's mouth.

Josh used to think any store was called "shoppin'-at-the-mall" 3

During prayers one night around x-mas time when Josh was 3 1/2 he said:

"Thankful for Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer, had a very shiny nose (and proceeded to say the words to the rest of the song)...

In response to telling Josh he couldn't go outside because he had a cold:

"I don't have a cold, I have a hot" age 3

In a prayer:  "Bless all our loved ones and the candy corns" 3

When Josh was 3 1/2 he was into Peter Pan and he went an entire summer calling me Wendy.  Even in the middle of the night when he had a legache or was sick he would call out "Wendy, Wendy!"

In protest to going to bed 

"I wanna watch this TV show"  

Me:  "you don't even know what this TV show is (angrily)"

Josh:  "Is it David Letterman?"  4

Josh:  "I wanna eat cereal with milk and get big and huge"

Me:  Yeah, like daddy?

Josh:  No, like Hercules, I wanna be a hero

Me:  and help others?

Josh:  yeah, and go the distance (the Hercules movie has a song "I Can Go the Distance")  4

Josh was telling me all the bad words he knew and how we shouldn't say them.  He kept saying over and over:

"Crap is a bad word, huh, mom?  We don't say crap, etc."

Me:  "Okay, Josh we don't need to talk about it anymore"

Josh:  "I'm just telling you the truth about crap, mom"  age 4

Josh once yelled at me:  "I'm just angry at you cuz you didn't repent!"  age 3 1/2

In a prayer:  "Thankful that no giants will get us, thankful that no crocodiles live in Highland" 3

I was frustrated because Jakey was crying (1 yr.) and Josh was asking me to do a million things and I said:

"I can't do everything, I only have 2 hands"

Josh in reply:  "What if you just had 3 hands, that would be better"

In primary for a Thanksgiving lesson the song leader held up a cornucopia and told the kids we put food in it.  Josh blurted out:  "We don't have one of those, we just put food in our fridge"

During Sacrament meeting I was trying to get Josh to be reverent during the Sacrament by asking what we should think about.  He put his finger to his temple and said "Winnie the Pooh thinks" 

Me: "We think about Jesus"

Josh: "and Pooh thinks about honey"  3

After a frustrating night  of trying to get Josh to stay in his bed, Jeff spanked Josh's bum and Josh came out crying and said to me:

"Daddy spanked my bum and it went up to my heart and now my heart is broken"

I was mad at Josh and told him if he did something again I was going to have a cow.  He asked what that meant and I said it means when you get really mad.  A few days later he got mad at me and said:

"If you do that again I'm gonna have a moose, mixed up with a cow mixed up with a geese!" 4

Josh woke up on a Saturday morning and asked:

"Do you don't have to go to work today dad?"  (no)

"Do I don't go to school today?"  (no)

" Is it church day?"  (no)

"YES!  I love this day!  It's my favorite day!" 5

I got my hair done and had it styled curly instead of straight.  Josh said "I like it better when it isn't all squiggly"  5

Josh wanted me to go buy pizza for dinner and I said I was too tired.  He responded:

"I know, what if we turn our house into a pizza store, then we never have to go buy any" 5

Josh:"Are you making the chicken on the bone?" (drumsticks)

Me: " No, I don't know how to"

Josh: "It's easy, you just get a dog bone and glue some chicken on it" 6

Josh: " Did you know that midnight is the real nighttime and 8 o'clock and 9 o'clock and 10 o'clock are like the fake nighttimes" 6

Josh had a really good first grade parent/teacher conference and we were praising him:

"You're so good at everything, is there anything you're not good at?"

He responded after thinking a minute "I'm not very good at back flips" 6

I was putting Josh in time out and he asked "why are you putting me in time out?"

Me: "Because it took you 10 years to get upstairs when I asked"

Josh in his most sarcastic voice: " Oh, ten years, huh?  I'm 18 now, happy birthday!"  8

Now I just realized that this is a really long post and it's only a portion of the hilarious things that Josh has said over the years.  I'll have to dedicate another post to Jake and Lucy later.